After about a year we sought some advice, as Zoe had been a baby who we were told we'd never have. We tried Chinese Herbs (this helped in Zoe's conception) and Naturopathy for about a year and a half, and while things seemed to be improving, I didn't conceive. I then sought more advice and was told I was not ovulating (after charting and blood
tests over four months) and we should try some fertility drugs.
I started taking these apprehensively and we began "trying" in full swing (temperature and charting every day). it was about this time I lost the ability to be relaxed about conceiving and I felt as if the plan of conceiving had become a major task in my life. After several cycles with little change, I threw caution to the wind and decided to take the herbs with the fertility drugs and my progesterone level rose from 7 to 80 Now we were getting somewhere!
Eventually, I became pregnant, but miscarried twice, the second time resulting in a rushed trip to hospital for a dilation and curette. We decided to have a six month break from the whole idea of conceiving and fertility drugs and take some time out. A friend suggested I read the book "Inconceivable" by Ben Elton if I was up to it and lent me his copy. well, there was no looking back. Dennis and I both read the book and spent many nights giggling and laughing at the parallels in the book to our own experiences, it was such good therapy.
There is a scene in the book where the couple look for a fertile site to go for a picnic and try to conceive their baby. we both decided this would be a good idea, even though we weren't trying, we went for a picnic. We randomly chose a date off the calendar (no temperature taking or charting) and left for our picnic on a freezing day in May, yummy food, wine and rug in hand.
Mother Earth moved, and I knew at that moment that magic was happening. Two weeks later I was too excited to do a test in case it was my imagination, but did anyway and was pregnant. The next few weeks were spent in a warm glow, with Dennis and I looking at each other with knowing eyes.
Then the constant everyday, every hour sickness set in, just as it had with Zoe and we started to tell people the news. After an arduous early pregnancy of sickness, lethargy and low iron levels, I began to feel better and enjoy the time planning for a home birth.
I chose my midwife Jenny, fairly early on and saw her throughout the pregnancy for antenatal visits. This was important for me to get to know Jenny and develop a rapport prior to the birth. This worked wonderfully and Jenny liaised and advocated with my GP and obstetrician, who I saw due to
baby's presentation, size and iron levels.
I asked my sister Debbie to be Zoe's support person and we planned for her to stay for about two weeks. Debbie arrived three days before my due date, with the plan to stay on and help in the early days after the birth.
In hindsight this was too early, as I went nine days past that date. I found it confining to have her constant presence and she was getting a bit sick of all the waiting. We had several days in the final week where the contractions would start, increase in strength and regularity, then stop.
The last three days of the pregnancy was continual contractions that would start at night or early morning, become regular (approximately five minutely) and then gradually reduce later in the day. I tried to ignore the contractions, as this had happened with Zoe over the last two weeks of her pregnancy, however at times they were hard to ignore and get on with other things as the pain stopped me in my tracks.
I was being monitored at the hospital and was feeling like I had to perform, as the obstetrician had set a deadline of Tuesday. Every day at the hospital they told me I was in labour, the contractions were strong and regular (could I feel them?? YES!!!) and that I should ring Jenny when I got home.
By Friday I was starting to wonder why the
baby wasn't coming and then had shows all day and thought that my water had broken (it hadn't). That night I went to bed and slept the most soundly I had for two days. I woke up at 5.30 a.m. and my waters broke.
Finally something was happeningl Hurray I was excited, but tried to rest and relax and wait for the contractions to intensify.
The contractions did increase in strength and length, and continued steadily until about 10 a.m. At this stage, I decided to hop into the bath, when everything stopped. I felt tired and frustrated, retreating to the bed and woke at 11.30 a.m. At this point I felt incredibly disappointed. why was this stopping? I spoke to Jenny and asked
what I could do, as I felt very frustrated and felt that my time for a homebirth was running out.
Debbie and Zoe were anxiously waiting and watching (I'm sure Zoe was thinking "is she ever going to have this baby?") which was not helping me to get into my labour state.
Dennis and I decided that we needed absolute privacy, so we asked Debbie and Zoe to give us some time and space in the house. Dennis and I got into the pool (the pool had been gradually filled over two days and was starting to get deep by this stage). We started nipple stimulation and the contractions returned, now increasing in strength, length and regularity. The contractions would slow if we played "Enya" (Zoe's birthing music), but increase if Dennis put on "Ed Kueper" (this baby was a rock star).
At 2:15 p.m. we decided to ring Jenny as things are becoming intense with the contractions and it was hard to know how long it was going to be before delivery. The contractions were two minutely and peaking in intensity with each one. Debbie and Zoe returned and then Jenny arrived. Jenny observed what was happening and then rang Nola (our
backup midwife). Nola arrived soon after and Diane (our support person/photographer) arrived at about 3.30 p.m.
With everyone assembled and ready, I feel like things are really happening. Zoe and Debbie moved around the house, checking in on me quietly. Zoe checks in with Dennis to make sure that I am okay and the baby is okay. I am totally absorbed by my'labour state', which means I am silently partaking in a ritual of rocking on my knees in the pool with my eyes closed, and between contractions, moving to seek Dennis for support at the other end of the pool.
Very soon I seek my corner of comfort in the pool and stay there, knowing Dennis is with me and that I am surrounded by a team full of support, strength and wisdom. I breathe through the contractions and lot my body move this baby down.
The pool and water support the weight of my body, my legs shake with each contraction and feel like jelly, Jenny rubs them, which feels wonderful. At about 4.30 p.m. I wonder why the babe is taking so long (aren't second babies quicker?) because in my head I had set my goal of delivery as just after lunch. By this stage I am pushing involuntarily
(oh, I remember this with Zoe transition) the pool is fantastic because the baby is positioned, pinching on a nerve and my leg is giving way with each contraction. The team tells me the membranes are hanging down and this motivates more pushing with each contraction (HOW MUCH LONGER).
In my mind I keep seeing the water birth video where the woman pushes out the baby in about two pushes. I ask Jenny quietly why this isn't so for me. I am still in the water and our plan prior to the labour, was that babe would not be born in the pool (due to restriction of being able to guide babe out and visibility), however I am not hopping out now Jenny checks in with us both; baby will be born in the pool.
At around 5.30 p.m. I can feel the baby's head, I am oblivious to everyone around me and focussed on the task at hand, listening to and following my body. Slowly pushing and breathing. Babe's head is partially out and I stand, supporting myself on the side of the pool. I slowly breathe to birth the rest of my baby, asking if the baby is out "no, he's out to his belly button" (HOW DO THEY KNOW IT'S A BOY THEN??).
I breathe the rest of the baby out and turn to see my baby. Dennis has delivered our baby and the team surrounds the pool. I lift my baby to my chest with relief and joy and look at her "... it's a girl... oh, we've got another beautiful girl, see I told you it was a girl".
Maiya Kate Suckling was born at 5.48 p.m. on Saturday 24h February 2001, weighing 4320 grams (91b 8 1/2 oz). Zoe (her sister) watched the
gentle, calm and wondrous birth of her sister and cut her cord.
The birth was fantastic, birthing our baby at home and having the pool. To have this wonderful experience, surrounded by such support, wisdom and strength was inspiring and powerful.
We couldn't have made this happen without our supporting team of Jenny, Nola, Debbie and DI. I couldn't have done it without Dennis and Zoe.
The feeling that night, Maiya between us and Zoe sleeping at the foot of our bed, so incredibly moving and satisfying.
We looked at our beautiful girls, marveled at their amazing journeys into this world and talked about this new stage in our lives. The feelings of incredible happiness, warmth and love from that night is something that I will treasure always.
Maiya is four months old now and a delight. Dennis took three months off work and shared the load in the early days at home. This helped Zoe's transition to becoming a sister and helped us settle in to parenthood in a more relaxed way second time around. This time it has been so much simpler to make this life change and I wonder every day if it's due to the birth, our experience, my iron levels or just that Maiya's a different baby anyway.
I feel that her birth and the support inthe early days have helped us all to adjust and embrace this new life stage in a more relaxed way second time around.