Birth Support Bendigo

Joy's Birth Saturday 17 July 1999 by Helen

Lindsay woke up early @ around 5am as he needed a pee (bit of a role reversal) and had gone to bed so early the night before. I woke up too and we started talking. While we were talking I felt a couple of contractions two in a row and I thought 'Hold on is this it?!' but there were no more so I thought oh no they're only practice ones.

I slept late that morning having a nice lie in while Lindsay was watching 'Monkey' on ABC. It seemed every time I woke I could hear the signature tune, A long time ago..." I wondered how many episodes they were showing. Couldn't get the tune out of my head for days afterwards. I had a dream that morning that Joy turned right around head up, face out and I could see her through my belly. It was like she was saying ""Hello I'm coming!" but I didn't fully realise that until afterwards.

Well I eventually got up as Lindsay was cooking breakfast/ lunch for me. Went to the toilet and I thought I felt the plug come loose, so I was trying to have a look when 'pop' and there was water everywhere! Well luckily in the toilet. I called to Lindsay, '"I think my waters have broken" and then another gush "Yep, they have" and he came to look.
Luckily I was fairly prepared although we thought Joy would be born around the Full Moon of 28 July as we were fairly sure she was conceived near the Full Moon of 4 November but she obviously was a Cancer not a Leo. Anyway, I had pads to keep dry and got up and ate breakfast. This was around 12:15. I hadn't felt scared before as I was really looking forward to labour and giving birth.

We'd done a lot of preparation and one of the videos I had watched at Rhea's workshop made me think I can't wait to do that and feel that power. And it was only when my waters broke that I felt scared for the first time. I felt scared and excited and Linds and I sat over our eggs and toast and said "'I'm scared!" to each other. After we finished eating I phoned Jenny and told her my waters had broken but I had no other signs and she said oh well if nothing has happened in 24 hours we might have to try something. The waters were crystal clear (as in the Imagery) and I felt fine (no fever) so I said Id call if anything else happened. I also phoned Rachael who was coming from Geelong. I finally tracked her down at her parents house in Melbourne and she said she'd come straight from there. Then she phoned again and asked if she'd have time to go home first and I told her she'd have plenty of time to go home to Geelong and get ready and then come up to Bendigo.

Lindsay and I started to do housework to get everything ready to welcome Joy. I was vacuuming her room when I had to sit down as I had a really strong contraction. This was about 2.30pm. I also had a show around this time but didn't know what it was until I spoke to Jenny again about 4 o'clock. I think that's when I said to her I wasn't having contractions but really bad period pain. Lindsay and I had just finished a relaxation/ guided imagery before Jenny phoned. I had written and recorded 3 on tape to use while I was pregnant. One for Joy and I 'Connection with Baby'; and two for Lindsay, Joy and I 'Birth Place' (for preparing the best and safest place to welcome Joy into the world which for us is home) and "Imagining your Birth'. Well we hadn't yet done "Imagining your Birth' so we did it now.
I felt so relaxed and calm and connected afterwards. It was a great help in getting everything to flow and not be scared of the unknown anymore. We went for a short walk to do a ceremony to welcome labour and the coming birth of our baby.
As we walked back to the house I could feel myself drifting into and out of a different consciousness more than I could feel the actual contractions. I'd notice Id been somewhere else when I drifted back. (I feel now walking may have helped a lot with the pain i.e. to mask it)
And this is where I start to lose all track of time. I remember talking to Jenny on the phone while pacing upand down the house grunting and groaning with contractions and her trying to time them as we talked. I hope she got more sense from Linds than she did from me!

I think then I really started to concentrate on contractions and vocalise them. I walked up and down for a while and then spent a long time on the toilet feeling really sick, not being able to throw up but truly emptying myself! Lindsay was still tidying the house and coming to me for some contractions when I felt like my whole insides were going to expel themselves from every orifice. This is where we thought I'd probably have the baby on the toilet not that we'd planned a room but I fancied a bit more romantic/ glamorous location! ie. anywhere else.When I was completely empty (apart from sips of water and drops of Rescue Remedy every so often, which we had been feeding to each other since breakfast when we felt scared)

I didn't feel sick any longer and laboured on our bed for a while propped up with all the pillows. I remember looking at the clock at 6.20pm and trying to time a couple of contractions. Jenny had said to Linds she would come round when the contractions were so long and so far apart, but they didn't seem regular and time meant absolutely nothing to me in that state. I had a few really strong and really close together and remember thinking 'when I get my next break I'll lie down and have a rest' and then it seemed I didn't get a break from the intense pain, just contraction after contraction for a while, one after another, until I had time to think 1 can do something about this' and I asked Linds to get one of those heat wheat packs. At this stage Lindsay was trying to get the pool set up so I'd leave him to do that and then call him when the pain was really intense.

Rachael arrived about 7.30 with groceries. She ended up driving from her parents in Macleod to friends in Box Hill, then home to Geelong and finally to Bendigo. Id asked her to bring some music as I hadn't organised that yet, so she went to Isobel and Angelos and Angelo was there and able to say 'yes this is good for labour and this is good for...' as he'd been through it with Isobel and Louise's birth.

Rachael cooked dinner for Lindsay and I was walking up and down for a bit. I felt I needed a change of scene as I was in one spot on the bed and the pain was getting to me and getting boring!! but the smell of cooking drove me back into the bedroom.
I think while Lindsay and Rach were eating I started shaking and walked to the living room and stood next to the fire just shaking and shaking. I must"ve been in transition as I said a couple of things I wouldn't like to repeat now!

I think Lindsay called Jenny again around this time. I was making heaps of noise all through this. Really vocalising the pain which really helped although I don't know how it sounded. Then I was stooping over the couch and I suddenly realised was pushing and wondered if I should be doing that yet. I looked at the clock again (9.30pm) and thought where the **** is Jenny and said it to Lindsay. He'd already called to ask her to come and he said she'd be here soon. I told him I was pushing and didn't know if I should be doing that yet, and he replied, but from where I was I didn't understand his answer. So I just let my body flow but tried to hold back a little with pushing until Jenny arrived. I think Rach was still trying to fill the pool at this point.

Jenny arrived! (9.50) and did a VE with me on my side on the floor and she said "'Well there's no cervix there" so I let go and it felt so good to be able to push with my body. I heard Jenny phone Nola and say I need you here. Now." I stayed in the living room on the floor after this, over my trusty pillows.
Lindsay knelt down with me and I swore at him and sent him away to brush his teeth! Onions and garlic!!It's hard to write now in a conscious state when I was so far away in labour but I remember when I wasn't really pushing anymore and the pain started as Joy started to stretch her way out. That's the first time I really felt I didn't know what I should be doing next. I was leaning over and trying to gently stretch but it was really hurting and for me was the most painful part. Rach brought in some burning Geranium oil which was absolutely beautiful and helped for a while and I was holding a cold flannel over the front (where I did tear).

I turned to Nola at one point and asked her what I should do now and it was as if I was completely tuned out to anyone except Lindsay. I remember Nola's face but couldn't hear any words and could faintly hear Jenny but Lindsay was relaying what they said and I could hear him. You're doing really well, Just do what you're doing, make low sounds, lower sounds.
Jenny and Nola were there just sitting back smiling. Rachael was taking photos and I heard the click of the camera as if it was in slow motion it was amazing as if time wasn't moving but at the same time was moving really fast.

I touched Joy's head as I think I could sense they could see it, and to feel how I was stretching around her. I was still trying to stretch and not tear! And then Linds was getting into position to catch her. I felt her head come out with one last big stretch and then a release from pain and thought it would be a while before her body followed. But it seemed to come almost immediately with a gush and then they were passing her through my legs so I could see her and I said "'It's a baby, it's a baby!" I was stunned and tired and ecstatic and had forgotten the physical gift while being so engrossed in the intense work this beautiful slippery baby I was trying to pick it up and then remembered to check the sex Yes it's a girl
"It's a girl, Hello Joy". The huge elation of having achieved all this as we'd wanted. And there was Joy, calm, if a bit surprised, looking around at all the people and I was trying to sit and hold her plus the fact we'd 'known' it was a girl and it was!

And then I was taking my shirt off, as I hadn't even got round to that during labour, and holding her.Looking back on labour now it all went so well and faster than anyone expected. That my labour progressed so well was, without doubt, due to the fact that we were all in it together. Lindsay and Joy and I all connected and working together, both physically and spiritually. Jenny commented she thought Id do well, but not that well! I was tidying up a few days afterwards and kept finding things I had prepared for labour but didn't use. Like the pool! And a list of natural ways to get labour going! Rachael said the pool was useful though, as it gave her something to do while I was making all that noise.

I felt so powerful afterwards, knowing I had known she was a girl we'd been calling her Joy for months and achieving our gentle, safe home birth, which a lot of people we know had really scorned us for. But of course we had the right support team and got to know the right people and I thank everyone now who helped us with the birth and preparation and finding the people we needed.
My Fabulous Midwives Nola (above) and Jenny aetv with Joy.